A Life Presalted

Apr 23

“why should I talk to you when I have thirty two, my shiny teeth and me” — this lyric fucked me up. who prefers the company of the bones in their jaw to literally any human contact. I don’t care if they’re flawless. their stellar twinkle does not make them able to talk. “my shiny teeth that sparkle, adding beauty to my face.” a modern narcissus. draw away from your reflected mandibles, chip, no matter how much you love them they can never love u back

Apr 16

okay while I may not be cool I want to establish that I do not enjoy Family Guy, not even ironically, but

sometimes I wish that real life had cutaway gags like Family Guy so I could say that something was ‘as thick as the sexual tension between Vanessa Carlton and herself in the music video for White Houses’ and then everyone would see a clip of Carlton’s doppelgänger crawling over the piano and then they begin making out violently in that weird doubletime animation effect Family Guy overuses so they’d get the joke

especially when I’m being self-deprecating

listen kids I never claimed to be cool, I’m just a dumb dorky tryhard

speaking of I kind of want to write a novel-length fanfiction of White Houses, someone stop me I am a monster

also if the Huffington Post can be trusted Vanessa Carlton is bi, which is hella, I kinda got that vibe from White Houses

I’m reaching that age where my basic facial structure is essentially done changing and I don’t know how I feel about that

Apr 11

dammit Jeff Mielke

six pages later (than the passage quoted in this post) he assumes without examination that spoken language evolved before signed/gestural language, that there’s no way that H/hearing people might have evolved gestural language

I’m PRETTY SURE that’s not proven bro

“In formulating linguistic theories, it is very tempting to identify similarity with identity. The upside of confusing similarity with identity is that it allows more sweeping generalizations to be made. The downside is that they are often wrong.” — Jeff Mielke, in “The Emergence of Distinctive Features”, throwing hella shade

Apr 08

ah yes, thank you brain, “other people’s problems are worse than yours and you’re never going to get through grad school” is exactly what I wanted to get out of reading about other people’s experiences with disability in academe

Apr 03

guess where I was at 6:30 this morning? outside. guess where my keycard to get inside was? inside. guess what it was doing outside? raining. guess how I got back in? I had to ask a police officer.

Apr 02


whenever people make fun of people with phobias and/or triggers by saying “how do you go outside”

it’s like. yes? you are beginning to see the problem here. thats the funny thing about disability, there are a lot of things people are unable to do without stress or pain, if they are able to at all. it’s an amazing concept really.

(Source: faypunk)

Apr 01

humans at an alien casino with their alien friends like ‘oh this’ll be fun I loved gambling back on Earth’ but the whole casino is built on alien psychology and it’s completely ineffective on the humans and they’re like ‘what the hell this is a scam why are we here what are we doing’ and they’re like ‘come on guys let’s go you’re wasting your money’ and meanwhile the aliens are completely engrossed and having the time of their lives throwing their money away on carefully-weighted random number generators

androids at a casino with their human friends and they’re just really confused by everything

Mar 31

things I want tattooed on my body