so poorly cast as a malcontent

Oct 19

this is not what I was looking for

this is not what I was looking for

importantbirds:


Kokomo really, really…REALLY…likes the camera.

MAKE the sTAR of this beak.  TEACH A CHILDREN OF SUCH THESE NOSTRIL.  the VITAL education

oh nooooo

importantbirds:

Kokomo really, really…REALLY…likes the camera.

MAKE the sTAR of this beak.  TEACH A CHILDREN OF SUCH THESE NOSTRIL.  the VITAL education

oh nooooo

I can’t believe I didn’t take a single selfie in my cute af outfit last night

[video]

Oct 16

Oct 15

my e-reader has no business looking like this

my e-reader has no business looking like this

Oct 13

in like a week and a half I will be the proud owner of some fuzzy tights

this year my satyr costume’s gonna be even bomber

Oct 12

[video]

Oct 11

Oct 08

haven’t posted a selfie since my haircut

haven’t posted a selfie since my haircut

Oct 05

Read More

Oct 04

“HERA: who is this
ZEUS: who is what
HERA: who is this naked youth
ZEUS: youre going to have to be more specific
HERA: the one at your feet
ZEUS: oh
him
what about him
HERA: where did he come from
ZEUS: where did any of us come from
you know?
could be from the sea
or my own head
or spit up by an angry snake
hard to tell
HERA: did you kidnap him for sex
ZEUS: what
no
what?
HERA: did he kidnap you for sex
ZEUS: no
he’s
my cup guy
this is Ganymede, Official Cup Holder
he holds the cups
HERA: really
ZEUS: youve been saying forever that we need a guy to hold all the cups we use
HERA: i’ve never said that
ZEUS: someones been saying it
i just thought id save us all a little trouble
HERA: why isn’t he holding any cups
ZEUS: what
HERA: if he’s the cup holder why doesn’t he have a cup to offer me
i’m thirsty
ZEUS: I’m
EARTHQUAKE
[ZEUS raises his hands and all of Mount Olympus begins to shake violently. HERA is trapped underneath a falling rock]
ZEUS: sorry babe
cant hear you over all this earthquake” — Dirtbag Zeus on thetoast.net (via laurencombeferre)

(via alwaysfaithfulterriblelizard)

Sep 30

Sep 27

I’m the only person at this bar on Grindr